Month: February 2019

The most important relationship

Yesterday I read an article about mindfulness classes for children, in schools, in the UK. They are starting to apply these classes and I think this is the best thing you could ever teach someone, especially during school years.

Looking at the curriculum back home, I see a lot of subjects, ranging from artistical to technical, but almost nothing about self development, self awareness or how to live your life. We are supposed to remember who said what, to understand how things around us work, but nothing about our inner world. Now I am not going to debate wether this is a conscious choice of the people that make the rules, so that we can be easily manipulated and fooled, I am going to explain a little bit more what all this ‘fullness’ means.

The first and most important relationship we have is with ourselves. This one will last forever, including the possibility that we all live several lives (not going to debate this now, either). But for sure, no matter what we do, we can’t run away from ourselves, get a divorce, resign or just quit. Also, to get mad at ourselves is again useless, as we are the only ones that will for sure be there in case we ever need some help. Bottom line, we are stuck with ourselves. But nobody tells you how to build up your relationship with yourself! Somehow, we are always pushed on seeing and reflecting about exterior things, from gadgets to methods, procedures, rules, inter human relationships, all these things being provided from the outside. So, this would be one aspect of why we don’t have nowadays healthy relationships across the world: we don’t even know how to behave with ourselves, how to love ourselves and be kind with ourselves, we don’t behave with respect towards ourselves – so how could we possibly know how to do it with someone else?

The second thing is that I have heard people saying they are not interested in diving into their own souls and beings, they just wanted everything that happened outside of them to be in the right way! To be perfect! Forgetting that everything that happens around you is merely a reflection of what you carry on the inside. Another aspect would be that some people get scared and confused when confronted with their inner selves for the first time: just like meeting a new person and feeling awkward and embarrassed in their presence. They thought that there was no inner world, no abandoned person suffering in, and their self-image was totally different. But you can’t build a sturdy structure on the wrong basis or hypothesis. In order to get to know how to build or how to improve yourself, you have to be honest about your starting point!

And the last thing I want to mention right now is that even if some people admit certain things about themselves, they are not willing at all to go through all the necessary work to improve their lives: they would like instant results, no work or time spent at all to undo all the bad things they put up with for years and years. You can’t destroy in years and expect to build up in seconds! But, somehow, it works the other way around! Also, with today’s mind you can never touch tomorrow’s world. So, you have to change things in yourself if you want things to start happening on the outside too: you can’t expect to have the same poverty mindset but have the money to go to a five-star restaurant every night! You can’t hate people and wish for a magnificent, happy relationship! That relationship would still be with a person! Which you hate! How can you even imagine that could ever be possible? How can you expect people to see you as a leader or a trendsetter when you don’t like to speak in public or stand up in front of a group?

Years after years, we expect the above-stated ‘miracles’ to happen, while we remain in our low, unconscious mindset and we consider that the Universe has something against us!

With this being said, I will start a series of posts with detailed steps on how we can build the relationship with ourselves:

  1. Discovering your true self: wishes, talents, possibilities, things to improve. This will answer the question “Who am I?”
  2. Discovering and understanding what happiness is. This will answer the question “What makes you happy?”
  3. Understanding emotions. This will answer the question “How do I react to different triggers and why do I react like this?”
  4. Loving yourself. This will just bring joy and improve the quality of all the other relationships you have.

Once you answer these questions, you become, as a good friend said a while ago: ‘a rock’! And nothing will be able to move you from your path anymore. And once you build up strongly the most important relationship from this life, the one with yourself, all the other areas of your will be improved by default, because, as I mentioned before: this world is just a perfect mirror of our inner world!

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Infinit

Am luat infinitul și l-am pus într-o cutie cu dimensiuni bine definite. Apoi i-am cerut să fie împăcat cu gândul acesta și să continue să se simtă la fel de bine.

Am luat cutia și apoi i-am trasat reguli: se poate mișca doar într-un spațiu delimitat, pentru o anumită perioadă de timp și urmând o coregrafie care să unească toate cutiile din lume. Și după aceea am așteptat să vedem ce se întâmplă, și, ca în majoritatea cazurilor în care facem observații, am tras niște concluzii si am luat niște măsuri corective: am pus și mai multe reguli, norme, moduri corecte sau incorecte de răspuns în spațiu ale cutiilor.

Și în tot acest timp, de la infinit am avut pretenția să rămână tot infinit! Și ce dacă e…puțin constrâns? El este infinitul, ar trebui să știe asta și să se comporte ca atare: cu entuziasm, optimism, energie și avânt curajos în toate cele ale vieții.

Dar infinitul, ușor ușor, a început să obosească, nu mai ținea pasul cu noile reguli, nu mai avea timp de altceva decât de urmărirea în spațiu ale altor cutii, grija să se sincronizeze cu ele, să respecte toate regulile, și, mai ales, grija să nu facă ceva greșit astfel încât alte reguli să se abată asupra lui. Cutia a început să scârțâie, din toate încheieturile, să se uzeze de mișcările neîncetate și să se teamă pentru propria integritate. Astfel, cutia a început să se restrângă tot mai tare, aproape sufocând infinitul. Infinitul incerca tot mai mult să se adapteze, făcând tot posibilul să păstreze cutia intactă, și în același timp să nu uite că este totuși, un infinit! Dar entuziasmul, posibilitățile nenumărate deja nu îl mai atrăgeau, singura lui îngrijorare și singurul scop devenise să supună cutia la toate regulile apărute în spațiul lor restrîns, ca să mai poată exista o zi.

Observând comportamentul infinitului, l-am luat la o tură de disciplinare, nefiind deloc mulțumiți de felul in care a ajuns să procedeze. Am certat si acuzat si rușinat infinitul că a uitat cine e, și drept pedeapsă i-am dat o cutie și mai mică, să se invețe minte! Să știe că ne așteptăm de la el mereu să fie infinit, indiferent de circumstanțe, să știe cine este și ce vrea, indiferent de căte reguli îi impunem și indiferent căte standarde îi setăm. Și că dacă nu se supune dorințelor noastre, vor urma consecințe și mai neplăcute.

Și am văzut cum, în cele din urmă, infinitul a ajuns aproape de a ceda. Rămas fără forță, fără argument, infinitul a început să își recunoască limitările! Un infinit limitat! Un paradox care se repetă de atunci, într-una.

Din când în când, câte un infinit are o scânteriere asupra adevărate-i sale naturi! Și, în lumea noastră trasată cu liniarul, ca pătrățelele de pe o foaie din caietul de matematică, are doar două variante absolute:

  1. Să uite cât mai repede cine este, să se adapteze inapoi cutiei si regulilor ce o guvernează – în acest fel își limitează atât suferința, căt și entuziasmul, dar măcar cu siguranță se delimitează de durerea acută, fără a lua în considerare că va apărea o durere cronică
  2. Să își mențină toate atributele de infinit, experimentând cu plăcere lumea cutiilor, în care, având certitudinea că este un infinit, știe că regulile sunt setate doar pentru plăcerea jocului și doar pentru o perioadă limitată. În alte circumstanțe, el are oricând opțiunea de se reîntoarce în infinit.

În fiecare zi, aleg infinitul.

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Where were you when the Big Bang happened?

A few days ago I watched again a film (forgot its name, I tend to forget such details 🙂 ) about Egyptian gods and legends and some epical battles. The scene that caught my attention, was one in which a mortal asked god Toth – the god of wisdom and knowledge – how come he was there when the world was created, considering that the world didn’t exist yet? If nothing was there, how come he was already there, watching the world being built from scratch?  Toth’s answer, of course, didn’t provide any detailed explanation for the spectator; instead it said ‘Your brain would liquefy if I told you, because you wouldn’t be able to understand it’.

This scene remained in mind since the first time I ever saw this film, and it still makes me giggle each time I see it, thinking how…elegant, the film producer avoided a very philosophical subject.

Then, a few months ago, I found out that the way I was breathing wasn’t the correct way! Didn’t ever think about it before, I just used do it as a reflex, to survive, as air – excuse me, oxygen! – is the primary thing that keeps us alive. And I was breathing in the wrong way! Also, I used to breathe without paying attention to it, I mean, who actually thinks about the entire process while going through everyday living? A lot of people! I was to find out afterwards! From trainers and sportsmen, to Buddhist monks and people living in the Peruvian Andes. A Morgan Freeman documentary on the Origins of God also shed a light on this breathing stuff: each time we breathe, the amount of molecules we inhale or exhale is greater than the known number of stars in the known Universe. That means that we breathe an entire Universe, a few thousand times per day, without thinking about it, noticing it or even understanding what this means.

All the air we are breathing was once exhaled by our ancestors, the oxygen was released by plants living way before our time, the soil that feeds our food was built in time by the remains of our forefathers. As the energy is never wasted, but always reused and preserved in a different way (Newton’s laws), our molecules are just our ancestor’s molecules recombined in a different form: ourselves. And this didn’t just start happening a while ago, this has been happening since the beginning of time.So, going back to the movie I was mentioning above, whatever was there, in the beginning, it’s the source of us all. Whether we were created by a God, appeared due to the most powerful explosion ever, we all come from the same ‘person’s’ intention or from the same primordial soup of atoms. And thinking that all the atoms are different combinations of the same subatomic particles, we get to a point where our very basis exists: we all come from the same place, share the same structure and destiny.

If we could only see this connection between all of us, the fact that we all have the same source, share the same molecular structure, just that slightly arranged in a different pattern, none of the separation nonsense and myths would exist anymore. If we understood that we all should show the same respect for our ancestors, as we live on their heritage, and that one day we become ourselves the nurturing source for our hearers, maybe things would be different. If we understood there is no border between you and me, between people and plants, animals, the Universe, we would respect this existence on this ‘playground’ a lot more, knowing that whatever affects you, will also, in the end, affect me too.

The question remains: where were you when the Big Bang happened? You were there, watching it, being part of it, and so was I. The particles that form us were there, generated there, along with all the other elements that surround us. We were there! And we will be here until the end of time, together! Just to…start it all over again.


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Impossible doesn’t exist!

I have an ‘impossible syndrome’, that means that each time I hear someone say that something is impossible, my brain goes crazy with thinking this is so wrong!

Have you ever heard ‘you can’t make it!’? Or ‘nobody could make until now, why do you think you are better than them?’ Or maybe, the ultimate in my opinion, ‘yes, it might sound good in theory, but it is practically impossible’.

These statements make my brain go wild, as I have seen numerous times that the impossibility for a thing to happen is only in the mind, not in the real world. Actually, all the things that the mind can think about, can be done! And this can be seen over the centuries, as with Michelangelo and his helicopter, and with Jules Verne and his submarines and ships. Even if we don’t have the technology or the knowledge right now, that doesn’t make it impossible, that just postpones it. This happens with the technological stuff, as well as with our brains.

If it’s easy with technology, and it seems that over the years we managed to gain some trust with it, and if we see something doesn’t work today, we hope or at least we expect for it to work tomorrow, it seems that we are not doing the same with our brain or mind.

The brain is an unknown, uncharted completely yet, territory. And the mind is even more unknown to us. Although scientific progress has been made, somehow, we remain cautious and suspicious about the new discoveries. And this is just because the mind is something we take personally and it’s not comfortable to change. In the end, it is not comfortable to change ourselves!

Once a neurological path is made in the brain, it will definitely take a while to be undone and changed according to the new situation or to the new reality. Because, yes!, the reality around us is constantly changing. But the mind likes learned patterns and known information. In this way it can react faster, anticipate (we all hate the uncertainty of the upcoming unknown, right?) and do a better job at keeping us alive. However, that also makes us rigid, with a lack of flexibility in making decisions or changing the already made decisions according to the newest and latest facts, and with learning new things (I have heard a lot of people saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but guess what? Old dogs actually learn the best!) But still, neurological paths can be undone, new things can be learnt and what yesterday was out of the limits of what we knew, today can be a commonly known fact.

Yes, it can be difficult at the first glance to do something new, it can take a lot of energy, time and effort. But that doesn’t mean it is impossible. Also, if it can’t be done by someone, that doesn’t mean it can’t be done by anyone. It’s just a matter of perspective, but as long as you think that something is possible, the mind will start working towards finding a way.

A very dear person to me once said ‘where there is a will, there is a way!’. Of course, in the beginning I dismissed that, considered it to be impossible, but once I relaxed my mind and learnt it to accept the ‘impossible’, it got clearer and clearer to me that impossible does not exist!

‘Impossible’ hides the minds’ weakness when confronted with change and flexibility. ‘Impossible’ is the keyword for not even giving a try and for avoiding under all circumstances to really go outside of our effort zone. So next time the thought ‘this is impossible’ crosses your mind, ask yourself why you have that opinion, what could change it, go to the land of ‘science-fiction’ if necessary and most of all, go to your motivation: what keeps you from doing it?, what scares you if that idea becomes true?, what do you feel you might lose if the impossible becomes possible?, how much effort do you think you have to spend to make it happen? And, most of all, how would your life change if that was possible?

After answering these questions in an honest way, you may finally agree with me that ‘impossible’ doesn’t exist!

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I don’t procrastinate, I just don’t like it!

I don’t feel like doing this right now…or ever! Such a familiar feeling, right? The English word is “procrastination”, and in fact it refers to delaying different tasks or actions in order to momentarily avoid them or even hope that in the end they don’t need to be done anymore.

OK, I receive a task, something to do, I sense the need for an action, for my input and…I feel like running as far away as possible from that situation. Normally, until this year, it used to happen each time I had to face the government institutions, city hall, tax organism, legal stuff. I feel like I have a spider web on my eyes when I have to deal with legal forms, my capabilities of understanding and processing information drop below the sea level and I feel like the most stupid person walking on the face of Earth. As I never understood the procedures, the forms, the rules and regulations that constantly change… I put the label of ‘impossible for me to deal with’ on these matters and each time I had to face them (because I really have to pay the annual taxes and fees on different aspects) I felt like running away, hiding my head in the sand like an ostrich, even pay someone else to do it for me, anything to make it go away.

One day, I took a moment to observe my reactions and plan a strategy for fixing this issue, as well as any other procrastinating feeling that may come in the future.

First, I assessed myself: how did my body feel, my heart rate, my breathing, my muscles. I saw that I was entirely tensed. No matter what the reason, there are several ways to work directly on the body, so I started applying all the techniques I knew to physically calm myself down: breathing exercises, jumping several times to release muscle tension, etc.

But the body can manage to stay calm and relaxed just for a short while, and then snaps back to distress if the mind is not on the same page. So I took a look at my mind. It was panicked, trying to fix everything in one second, not taking the time to see how things would evolve and not going through the experience one step at a time. It tried to do everything, from the beginning to the end in the same second. That is rarely possible, as knowledge, help and everything else that we need in different situations, come to us only when needed and when we are prepared for it. We can’t be ready for step number 1568 after we have made only step 3. The fear that we don’t know NOW, right in this very moment, the whole outcome of the situation, is what panics the mind. In the end, is the good old, very known, fear of the upcoming uncertainty. OK, so the mind must calm down too, to understand that whenever needed, help will be there, everything has a solution and any outcome can be positive as long as we are willing to make it that way.

Then, the last and final thing that I had to assess was my soul. That thing that I used to ignore on a daily basis but found so helpful and meaningful if used properly. Here, I will spend a little bit more time to talk about this subject.

Although unknown to many, disregarded by some, never understood by others and generally ignored, each of us has a soul. The soul has little to nothing to do with religion, spirituality or mysticism. The soul is that part of us that feels emotions, that senses, that gives the first feedback whenever we find ourselves in a given situation. Feeling one’s feelings has been, over the history, encouraged, ignored, considered as a weakness, seen as a threat, and at last, even forbidden. The feelings are something that moves and touches us, sometimes in contradiction with how we would like to appear in front of the other people, so it is easy to get pissed off by them and do our best to hide them under the mat. Nevertheless, the feelings are the primary interaction that we have with the outside world, from a neurological point of view they are the actual electrical impulse going through the neurons and nerves. They can’t be stopped, as long as we live, we have these electrical impulses sent by the brain to the entire body as communicating signals, indicating the commands to move, breath, have a heartbeat, everything that keeps us alive. Basically, you could say the soul equals the feelings, therefor equals the electrical impulses in our brain. There are several articles written about this theme, none of them giving the absolute truth or overview, but at least pointing out to different directions.

So, coming down to my last question, how does my soul feel when I postpone or try to entirely avoid something? Of course, a feeling that makes me run away from something is usually not a pleasant one, other ways it would allow me to embrace the situation. Dwelling in my own feelings needed exercise, patience and personal engage. It takes a lot of will power, because as I was saying, the reflex is to run like hell, as far away as possible from that particular situation that causes an unpleasant feeling. Coming back to my issue with the local authorities… If you read the newspapers, listen to the radio or TV news, you are filled with negativity and with a level of concern regarding…well…everything! I used to hear that the taxes will grow so big that nobody will afford anything anymore, that the government does I don’t know what thing that will surely have a negative impact on all of us, that you are never treated properly when you have a question, nobody helps you, we are all doomed!!! OK, listening to these things for years, definitely gave me some insecurity, uncertainty and overall, negative feelings regarding this subject. By having these believes formed in my mind, of course I expected the worst when dealing with local administration for the first time. But the surprise was that…it was not that bad at all! Actually, it was really great. And since I overwrote the feelings that kept me in fear, I have no use to procrastinate anything that deals with this subject anymore.

The bottom line would be, in the end, to calm the body first of all, then smooth the mind and always ask yourself ‘How does this make me feel? Why does it make me feel this way? When did I feel like this for the first time? What happened back then, that I don’t ever want to go through again?’ After clarifying these aspects with one’s self, one can finally understand what still deserves their attention, what becomes useless, and most of all, how to live life with ease and peace of mind, embracing things as they come, without procrastinating or postponing.

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I Have Time

Today I am thinking about time, I have been thinking about it for a while, this abstract ‘demon’ so called ‘time’.

I have read about it a lot, there are different theories around the world, from quantum physics to neuroscience studies, from literature and joy to ordeal and sorrow. Time can be any of these, and anything in between too.

But above all these ideas, what matters the most in the end is how each of us sees the time. In the end, it is a subjective matter, as nobody can live our life in our place. So, amongst other things, such as the body or the subjective interpretation of life events, time is also something proprietary, with no absolute meaning (we don’t even have the same hour indicated on different time zones!), but although measurable up to a certain point, is has profound subjective impact.

I have been asked how do I find time to do the different things I do, when do I do them and how do I manage to get everything done. Well, my answer is easy: time is something I HAVE. It is mine, so I can fully use it as I desire. What we ‘own’ (I will explain in a different post what I mean by owning something), we can use limitless, in our own way and to our best purpose.

I never saw time as an enemy. I know some people do. They fight with the age, with the surrounding events, with change, with time in general. Fight is never good anyways, and doesn’t bring us much joy, so from the beginning, the idea of fighting time is wrong. I like time, I like it when I feel the need to rush and run to catch the bus/plane/etc., but I don’t feel bad, frustrated, angry or disappointed if I don’t catch that ride. Everything comes and goes in a spiral, so busses will, too. If I miss this one, I will catch the next one, or maybe I don’t even have to take the bus, a friend might appear on my way and give me a lift. I also like time when others might say they get that feeling that is passes extremely slow and seems like it will never go away. Yes, sometimes it can be painful, as for example when you watch someone suffering, in pain, in the hospital, sick, or when you wait for the result or a surgical intervention. But, it can also bring a certain kind of peace and awareness in the present, that can be used and seen as a blissful moment.

I remember a while ago, I had to spend a few weeks in the hospital. Time seemed like stuck forever! After getting over all the frustration and desperation feelings, I realized that I had other people around me in the same room, and I started observing them. We helped each other with whatever we could, based on our physical condition, we talked, laughed, spent sleepless nights. And the human interaction can never be useless. So, I found those moments filled with bliss, I often remember them, and I can honestly say I haven’t been traumatized by the medical experiences, I can hardly remember them. But I remember the sons that came to their mother’s bed every single day, the way they looked at her with care and affection. I remember my colleague that used to pray over her child every evening, and I would just close my eyes and listen to her praying voice. It was time well spent, I have no regrets.

Coming down to regrets, I met a lot of people that wished they could turn back time and do things differently. I am proud of my life, I like every single piece of it and wouldn’t change anything in it for anything in the world. Had I changed one little second, one insignificant decision, I wouldn’t have been here anymore. I heard people saying, ‘If I knew this a few years ago, my life would have been better!’. My question to them is: are you sure? Did you have the capability to acknowledge this a few years ago? Would you have been able to understand it with the mindset and attitude you had back then? Everything we do, all the time we spend on this planet is part of who we are. Regrets don’t make sense (I am not talking here about abominations or extremely disturbed behavior such as crime/murder/etc.) !

And in the end, how do I find my time? I guess it finds me. A thought crosses my mind, I make the decision to take action and I do it. I never wonder or question myself ‘do I have the time to do this?’. I have all the time in the world, especially for what matters to me. And if something seems like it doesn’t matter in the beginning, I look harder for a reason to make it matter. Because everything we do has an impact on us, transforms and helps us, so a reason for it to matter is not difficult to be found. In the case I really can’t find a motivation for an action, I draw the conclusion that it has a really, extremely low level of usefulness for me at that specific moment.

So, I find the time to do my gardening (I have one regret here, that summer doesn’t last for the whole year 😀 ), to paint (if I don’t take care of my soul, I surely can’t expect someone else to do  it in my place), to dream with my eyes open, to be a child, to make different connections between what I read and experiment and think about the meaning of life, to organize, prepare, do household, and also have a full time job. All these things mean something to me, they are all part of who I am, and who I am owns the time. My time is just like a toy in the hands of a child. I can play with it as I desire.

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Thank you for that split second!

I wish things could move quicker. I wish I already was…somewhere else. This feeling comes each time there is a difference between what my soul and body want and long for, and what my mind knows it ‘should’ do. I wish I made time move faster, even if that means getting older. Sometimes ‘better’ means ‘further in time’, as if at a later stage, somehow, everything will miraculously get better. I tend to forget that the only one that can make things better is myself, no one else! It’s like it is enough for time to pass, with me watching from the side, not engaging, not participating. Of course, now I know this ‘good old’ feeling, and each time it comes by, I remember an old friend and how I dealt with it for the first time.

A while ago, I was not happy with who I was, where I was, what I was doing, my job, my finances, my place in the Universe, myself! I was living every day with the need to get away, run as far and as fast as possible, hide, never talk to anyone else, never interact with anyone, vanish. I was constantly looking for other job opportunities, some of them extremely far away from home. I felt the need to escape, get rid of all my surroundings and completely change my entire life overnight. I was applying for different jobs in a frenzy manner, I didn’t have the patience to talk to people, I was irritated and constantly annoyed. Couldn’t find my place and felt like suffocating.

I couldn’t see the people nearby anymore, nor listen to them talk, let alone have the patience to hear them preach. I was reading a lot of books, self-improvement articles, stories and yet, I couldn’t find MY way out of my life. I was so stressed and would consume a lot of effort every single day. I also gained weight, that, obviously, made things worse.

Then, one day, while being at work, I met someone. Even with all that chaos going through my mind, it was impossible for me to not notice that person. Actually, when we met and shook hands, the moment hit me like a wave. What exactly happened…I don’t know. But the whole situation made my mind trip for a split second, time in which my soul finally got a breath of fresh air for not being assaulted with stress all the time, and I relaxed entirely. It was like that person could see right through me! It was a weird, new situation for me, strange, awkward, you name it! But first, it gave me that break of a split second from the whirl that my mind was caught in.

In time, we started talking, about work, justice, joy, life in general. Slowly, my mind got relaxed more and more, slowed down the pace and could function properly again. All our conversations were in a different tone, one that had nothing to do with gossip or negativity or known attitudes until then. It was exactly what my soul needed at that particular moment.

I stopped running away from my life, and started observing it: where was I?, why was I there?, what was I doing there?, did I like it?, could I improve it somehow?. But all these without stress or panic. Just contemplating without labeling, without throwing blames, without accusing or wining. So I relaxed, took one day at a time and for the first time since I could ever remember, I felt I enjoyed life! I had a few sparks now and then about the fact that life is easy, life is joyful, happiness is for everyone, including myself. And although it took a while, and they have been put down a few times, those little sparks, became flames, and the flames became an everlasting light.

That was everything that my mind needed: a split second in which someone would distract it from everything that it was running away from! And so, I found out that running away from something never helps! If I really want to run, it should be towards my goal, not away from sorrow.

Thank you, dear friend! Thank you for giving me that so needed split second!  

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Shine!

So much light! So bright! For the first time you realize that the light hurts your eyes. How is that even possible? There used to be a lot of light around you, protecting you, warm, perfect and now it’s unbearable and painful?! You’re hurting, and you need to do something about it. The light floods your eyes each time you try to open them and then… something even more shocking happens! Air fills your lungs! The pain caused by that triggers your voice and you scream for the first time. You have found your voice, and with each breath, with each scream, it becomes louder and stronger! You want to fight it, you are confused. You forgot who you are, why you are here, you feel the need to just scream from the bottom of your lungs. And you scream! Again, and again, and again!

Your eyes become a little bit more used to the piercing light. You are trying to cool down, assess the situation, understand what has happened. You find that even breathing becomes easier, more silent, satisfying and even pleasant. There is a fog around you, a fog of light but with tiny little things moving around. You try to quiet down a few seconds, to grasp the noises those little things do. Some appear to scream, just like you did not long ago. Some are smoother and more soothing. Some of the things actually glow! Others… are dark.

The most beautiful light surrounds you, in the most familiar way: warm, gentle, calming, comforting. You feel at home again and for a short while, it even seems like a dream. Like you are going to wake up back home, in middle of the perfect light. But this light has limbs… What? THIS light can actually change shape? Move? Run over your body in the most calming way? What kind of light is this? It seems that the light emerges from a thing, moving through the fog. You wonder what this is, while also wanting some more of its touch. The light comes along with some noises. The nicest sound waves you have ever heard! It makes you want to cry, for all the things you kept inside, for all that you have been through in the last couple of hours. You know that the light embracing you is not the one from which you came, but it feels like it’s part of it, being sent here especially for you. It’s hugging you and you feel protected. Even if you are not home anymore, in the arms of this light, you can go anywhere.

The light around you hugs and kisses you. Your own light is glowing more than ever. Now, as part of this material world, your light casts away shadows all around, realizing for the first time its dimension and possibilities. You are here with a purpose, and that is to shine as bright as you can! And for this, you have everything you will ever need: your own light and the lights surrounding you!

Welcome! You have just been hugged by your mother! You are on Earth! You have been born!

The infinite became finite.

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