Month: April 2022

Apply your Strategy – Or the Rule of Small Potatoes that You Never Want to Peel

I went to a food store to buy some potatoes, for some fries. I don’t like the already peeled and cut ones, I like buying the real deal, peeling and cutting the potatoes myself. It is something I enjoy, I like preparing a meal from scratch, with no pre-made things. And now, here I was, standing in front of the potatoes section and looking at all the bags on the shelf. There were not so many, I was in a hurry, so I grabbed one in which I saw a few nice, big potatoes, and on my way, I went, to the cashier. I didn’t take a good look at the bag, my mind was satisfied enough with the few good potatoes it had noticed. Plus, I was in a hurry to get to an appointment, so there was no time for me to spend on such a small, insignificant decision.

A week had passed, a week during which I had not touched my potato bag, and during which I had even forgotten buying it. Dinner time came and out of the pit of my creativity, the thought that I can quickly prepare some French fries, emerged. I grabbed the bag of potatoes, opened it and went for the biggest potato my eyes could set on. In the end, there were five decent potatoes, and a whole bunch of hard to peel, annoying little potatoes. The big ones were done in a few minutes, but I soon started feeling sorry for my life and questioning the Universe about the purpose of my existence, while cleaning twenty other finger-sized potatoes. My mind was annoyed, and the frustration was building up inside, when this was supposed to be, in fact, a very pleasurable dinner. French fries are amongst my favorite side dishes, but I was not able to enjoy them as much as I wanted due to the ordeal of peeling those little, annoying “mini” potatoes.

The story above happened because I did not listen to my inner Authority, and for sure I did not follow my Strategy. About Authority, I wrote here, but the Authority has to go hand in hand with the Strategy you follow, when dealing with a task. While Authority tells you What to do, and which way you should go, Strategy tells you How you should do it, so what tools to use, how to plan, set up, manage the tasks. According to my profile, I am a Manifesting Generator, so my strategy would be to respond to…. well, life! Easy to say, harder to do, when the inner feeling says you might miss out, get left behind, lose opportunities and get stuck outside the pace of the society. How in the world is this responding done?

The theory says I have to wait for the opportunity to arise, then ask my Authority if that would be benefic for me, and if so, I should go for it. OK, so here I had my first mind-blow: how am I supposed to wait??? I am one of the most impatient people that I know, I wish everything would have been done and finished and buried yesterday. So how am I supposed to wait? Wait for what? And what do I do while I wait? Also, because I am an Emotional Manifesting Generator, so with a defined Solar Plexus, I never have clarity in the now. There is no truth for me in the now and depending on how I feel in that particular moment, I could make my decision based only on that momentary feeling. So, again, it would be better if I waited until a full wave-cycle would go by, to make my decision.

My mind was annoyed and confused, but not in the same way as in when it had to accept the Authority idea, but more like… we are wasting precious time, waiting for something that may not even come! Also, if I feel good now and I decide something now, why would that be wrong? Why sleep over a decision? How long would a full emotional cycle last? Would I make my decision on time?

Not to speak about people around me that would usually rush me, because in their opinion, you have to do more and better and faster every single day. And I used to believe that for years, as well! Only when I started gardening, I truly learned and understood what patience was, and that was waiting for a tomato to grow or get ripped. You can’t rush Mother Nature; you can’t rush a vegetable to grow. “But you can definitely rush yourself!” my mind believed.

And my mind could not have been further away from the truth. Indeed, I always had strong feelings, both on the positive and on the negative side. When I am happy, I am happy with all my heart, you can see it on my face, in my eyes, in everything that I emanate around me. In the same way, when I am sad or frustrated, the whole world could go down the drain, I couldn’t care less, and I wouldn’t even feel sorry about it. Until I am back on the high side of the wave, that is. Every time I took a decision on the spot, I ended up regretting it. I had either to drop things in the middle of the events, because it was too exhausting for me, either to cringe on it, and finish the job, while my body took the toll and I had to take care of it to recuperate. Every time someone rushed me to make up my mind, I felt a strong opposition inside, but hey, I had to go with the society’s flow, so I went over myself to force me into making a decision on the spot. Anything that is forced is wrong and will fight back. Physics says so, not me, and yet I acted so many years as if I was outside the laws of Physics, or the Universal laws in general.

Going back to my potatoes bag, there was a clear an obvious reason to why things happened as they did: I was excited to have some fries for dinner, so on my high wave, I rushed myself and bought a bag without checking it, in the heat of the moment, only to regret it days later, and start criticizing myself for such a poor decision.

Because I have an emotional strong wave, I can’t dismiss or silence it. The only way to properly function with it is to honor it. I have to wait, learn patience, wait to hear my Authority, listen to it, and check regularly if that decision is still applicable. Because it might look like a good idea when I am in a good mood and I feel like moving mountains, but that doesn’t mean it won’t drain me if I get to apply that idea while I am on my low wave. During the high side, I don’t care if I have to clean two or twenty potatoes, while on the lowest side, I would rather not eat at all, than do anything in the kitchen. I can’t rush myself, because just like everything else around me, I am part of Mother Nature. It took me more than twenty years to understand that it is normal to change my mind, to feel differently during several days, to go from confidence and an alert rhythm, to melancholy and a slower pace.

Around 30% of the people are emotional, so they would feel better and do better in general, if they just listened and timed correctly their feelings and their emotional waves.

Around 30% of the people are emotional, so they would feel better and do better in general, if they just listened and timed correctly their feelings and their emotional waves. But for now, what society asks from us is to have a constant drive, constant energy, constant feelings and involvement. I bet the same society would like to keep Mother Nature growing crops all year round and the Sun up in the sky all day long. There is a reason for these cycles, and we are not here to interfere with them. We are here to understand them, learn them and work with them.

Or, as my husband said: Whenever you go and buy potatoes, chose the ones that you think you would peel and clean even in the most awful day, when you feel like doing nothing at all! And I think with this, he managed to put into a single sentence the whole meaning of applying personal Strategy.

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Respect your Authority

Funny enough, the first lesson I received after I started learning Human Design, was about Authority. Now, since I was a child, this word had only negative aspects for me and meant bad consequences were around the corner. I used to feel shivers down my spine when it was mentioned. I never had an issue with the authorities, I didn’t get into trouble, and I tried to avoid them as much as possible. That much that when I had to go to the Chamber of Commerce and file a tax declaration, I almost fainted walking through the door. I grew up, somehow, with this idea of a punitive authority, one that looks only at your mistakes, and actually tries to prove everything you do is a mistake.

With all these believes in my head, here I was, during my first lessons of Human Design, hearing that I had to follow my Authority. I knew the subject and the idea were good, but that word, in there, that word was triggering so much stuff in my mind. I could not focus at all on the part with discovering anything, because my mind was too busy being angry and annoyed by the simple principle of authority.

I struggled for a few days, weeks, I don’t know, but it was for quite a while, to just accept the idea that an authority should be followed. I had to get over this issue before being able to discover what exactly that Authority meant for me, and where I was supposed to find it. So, I asked a friend, and an amazing meditation coach, to help me find my roots and get over this feeling that was in my way of learning Human Design.

His words got stuck in my mind, and even now I can clearly hear them. How he described it, the authority is not there to judge or punish, but it is there to lead, guide and nurture. And so, my inner authority was that part of me that listened to and observed life happening around me, while taking the best decisions for my personal wellbeing. My mind was blown away! It gave me a totally new perspective on what authority and responsibility meant. The responsibility of my inner authority was to make sure that I thrive, that I enjoy life, activities and that I correctly state and keep my boundaries whenever necessary. It was the first time when I heard such a beautiful and positive explanation of these aspects. It changed my mind completely about what personal responsibility and maturity meant, and for the first time, I didn’t feel afraid anymore of anything that had to do with the subject of authority.

I am a 5/1 profile, so I have been burnt at the stake lots of times. In most cases, being held responsible meant being told where I failed, what I had done wrong and what my punishment would be. Authority figures used to threaten with harsh consequences, in case I kept my opinions or continued to argue about different subjects, if I spoke up, and so on. I am a Heretic, so yes, I do speak up, I do state truths, which may be perceived as painful sometimes, it is a bit built up inside me to question everything, doubt everything and try the impossible! Ok, it is more built up inside! I like to challenge an idea, a tradition, a pattern, test it and find its flaws and, if possible, suggest a new one, more applicable for the current situation.

I started, therefor, to learn what was my own Authority. How did it look like, how did it feel and behave like, what was the overall idea behind it. During my first attempts to understand it, my mind was constantly in the way, arguing, explaining, battling the thought itself, because it was scared. It is very common for the mind to be afraid, because fear and doubt are traits of the not-self of the Ajna and Head centers. It is easy to fall in their trap and start ruminating useless thoughts. I was used to those useless thoughts, I was used to fear, I was used to acting in a fear based way. I learned in school that if you don’t work, you die of hunger, if you don’t have money, you can’t have a roof over your head, and if you don’t go along with public opinion, you will be rejected and most probably die alone. Of course, all my actions were to counteract all these negative, and presented as very probable, scenarios. My mind got stuck, realizing that fear wasn’t, isn’t and never will be, a good reason to do anything, but what else was there to take fear’s place? What other reason could someone have, except for acting out of fear, to do anything? Even more, how would life look like if there would be no more fear?

With these thoughts, I started exploring other possibilities, as triggers for actions, while I kept on reading about what inner Authority and Strategy meant, from a Human Design point of view. I then had another conversation with someone more experienced than me in HD, about art, sales and the reason someone would buy something. What if you buy something because it makes you feel good, and not because you need it to survive, as in eat, drink or get dressed? So, what if I saw art as something soothing for the soul, which is in the end, the only thing that matters? – What if I saw art being worthy of earning money? I contemplated this possibility, of enjoying life instead of living it as a battle, and I noticed that my body was giving me positive signals. I looked around me for things and activities that I might do, and I might enjoy. I followed my feeling, wherever it said I would feel good, and I noticed a lot of physical improvements. I found a table tennis location and I started playing. I bought myself canvases and paint and started painting for the pleasure of it, whatever I felt like, and without questioning myself if others would like it. I started taking breaks when I felt the need and working when I had the energy, even if it was late in the evening or even in the middle of the night. And, suddenly, I was sleeping better, eating better, having more muscular strength and a clear head.

Since then, I understood my Authority more and more. I am an Emotional Manifesting Generator, so I have an emotional wave to ride, and strong feelings in my body if something feels right or wrong. I tested my Authority in all kinds of situations, from choosing the road that had less traffic, to working with people, playing games, and even doing my taxes. I let my mind think and make scenarios, but I no longer allow it to make decisions. I involve my mind, now, in HOW to perform something, HOW to deal with a situation, but I don’t allow it anymore to choose WHAT to do. I learned the highs and the lows of my emotional wave, how to use it when it’s on the peak, and how to rest and take care of myself when it’s on the low. I have become more aware of my reactions, triggers and of the persons’ around me.

But besides the physical aspects, I also found one thing that I felt was missing: an inner feeling of confidence, support, strength and stability. In the end, together with my Authority, I found my best friend, confident, helper and caretaker: I found myself!  

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